Today we’re going to talk about something that’s really hard for parents, and that is letting your kids experience natural consequences. So as adults, we know that if you don’t wear your coat to school when it’s 32 degrees outside, you’re going to be cold.
We don’t want our kids to experience those kinds of things we constantly are saying, and that isn’t as effective and it’s also much more frustrating than letting them experience the national consequences. And truly being okay with that, for example,you can say to your kids that it’s pretty cold outside and you’re gonna wear your jacket and leave it up to them, but they can choose not to wear it and that is much more effective than telling them to wear a jacket, and harassing them to wear it all the time.
let your kids go outside and play and do all the things without their coat on, you don’t live in their body, so you don’t know, maybe they like being cold ! you have no idea. So just let them experience natural consequences and therefore they’ll understand that it’s not fun playing outside when it’s cold and wearing their coat is better, so they’re going to do that and that isn’t because mom or dad is telling them to do. So having that natural consequence will help them to understand the reasoning behind wearing their coat versus enforcing them to do it.
Natural consequences can also be useful for things like going to the grocery store with your kids and keeping them walking in front of the cart of some other person and so letting them get bumped by another cart and maybe having another adult talk to them or be frustrated with him. It’s hard for you as a parent,but that’s gonna be much more effective if an adult says to your kid to move on his way then you repeatedly telling them to get out of the way ,and the next time you can say things like “hey ! do you remember last time when you got bumped by that cart or that person got upset with you ? maybe this time pay attention to the carts around you and try to stay out of people’s way“.
Another one is leaving their homework at home or leaving their homework at school if you have older kids, and having them experience the natural consequences. This sort of things along with the post that we did about failing. It’s really important to let your kid experience those things, especially when the stakes are lower so that they get a sense of what it’s like to have that happen and they can survive it.taking their coat, their lunch, their homework to them every time they forget it at school or at home doesn’t help them remember to do it themselves and giving them that consequence or having that experience will help them remember to do it the next time rather than harassing them or doing it for them every single time.
Having that natural consequence is going to help them remember and then do things by themselves versus you doing it for them or telling them to do it or making them do it. So try as hard as you can to let them experience the natural consequences of their actions.