Today we’re going to talk about one of the best topics, and that is unsolicited advice.
Once you’re pregnant, people decide that they need to tell you how to live your life and to give you plenty of advice.
So what you have to keep in mind when you encounter somebody who wants to say things to you is “what is going on with this person that they need to tell me this ?“, because a hundred percent of the time it is about them, and it often comes off as judgment even though they’re trying to be really helpful and they’re telling you what to do. But what they’re thinking about is actually what they did or what their experience was, so when the mom comes up to you and says “oh just enjoy every minute“ or “oh just savor it and love them“, what she’s thinking about is her 15-year-olds probably who is rolling his eyes at her, and grunting and slamming doors in her face. And she remembers when he would snuggle with her when he was two and she missed that and instead of saying to you “oh I missed those days“ or “you’re doing a great job and I was there too“ she tells you to enjoy every minute which is crazy, because it’s impossible to enjoy every moment.
The other piece of that is when people say things like “oh he sounds tired“, that kind of stuff of trying to be helpful, when it isn’t of course, should really make you repeating to yourself “why is this person saying this to me ?“, because that is what it’s about, it is about them. So if you are ever in a situation where you want to be helpful to another mom, one of the things that you can do if you’re gonna give anybody advice is to say things like “yeah, it works for me“ or “what I try to do in these situations is something like..“.That could be more helpful but usually, the best thing to do is just to say “oh mama you are doing a great job, you’re amazing, I’ve been where you are“ whatever you need to say.
But often people want to talk to you and tell you things about how to raise your kids in public, and it is excruciating and challenging.
So hopefully, this little advice will help you next time you encounter that lady who’s trying to tell you to do, by knowing what is going on with her and maybe ask about her kids to get her off the subject of yours.