, You have to let your kids struggle and you have to let them fail sometimes. That is really hard to do because it’s so painful to watch someone you love to have a hard time especially when you can rescue them. But in the long term you are doing them a huge disservice if you do not allow them to struggle and you do not allow them to fail.
So early on when your kid learns to start walking, you have to let them fail because otherwise, they’ll never learn to walk if you catch them before they fall every time, or you carry them everywhere, then they will never learn. As they fall down, they pick themselves back up and they keep walking and sometimes they hurt themselves, but they’re okay. So that is a very small example of letting them struggle and fail, but long-term you really have to let them struggle and fail. and that can look like losing a student election and not trying to fix the results, not doing well on a project or a paper and letting them experience what that’s like. It could be something as simple as leaving a folder on the counter at home when the child should have taken it to school. Bring him his folder, his project, his jacket his lunch one time, and after that let him do it by himself. They have to know that you’re not gonna rescue them every time. It’s not really bad and it’s really ok if they make a mistake, if they fail and struggling.
So hopefully you’re helping your kid cope with that as well as experience it, so it isn’t just to fail, it is how to cope through that because they are looking to you and your response for their failure. How are you reacting, what are you doing and that is how they learn how to react in failing or experiencing failure.
And long-term what can happen is, if you don’t allow for these types of things to happen when they’re younger. When the stakes get higher and especially when they leave your house to go to college or have a job and they fail or even have a small failure, not even a catastrophic one. They often don’t know how to handle it, because they’ve never failed before, and it’s terrifying to fail. And so failing in the comfort of your own family and home is a lot better and coping through it and helping your kid through it, then having them do it on their own when they’re an adult, which can be really hard.
Just supporting them through the failure and helping them cope with it, is the best experience than trying to protect them from all failure. Because again life is hard, things happen, you’re gonna have challenges.
And lastly being transparent about your own failures and sharing your failures with them can also be really helpful. And sharing your own times that you’ve had a hard time can really make them understand that, they’re gonna be okay, and you’re gonna help them through it. So some words to live by some things to try