In this post we’re going to talk about divorce, and how do you tell your children about divorce.
Divorce rates have gone up very very substantially. The number of people of couples going in for divorce has really grown up due to the common reasons, such as in-laws, financial problems, infidelity, abuse, emotion incompatibility, sometimes addictions like drinking or drugs. Just a whole bunch of reasons why people go in for divorce.
No one can deny that divorce is an easy option or easy to decide on. People go back and forth which is one of the reasons why people get divorced after years and years of being together. Moreover, divorce is never an easy option either for the person who is initiating it or for the person who is being told that the partner wants a divorce. But we should also notice that its a terrible decision to stay in a marriage for the sake of kids.
We Can’t even list the amount of harm it does for kids, and the way it impacts kids if couples stay on for the sake of theme. parents fighting really affect Kids, and we’re not talking of minor squabbles, but really big fights. But the other thing that parent’s fights really affect children, so a child who has seen his father a misbehaver, will think that it’s okay to treat a woman in a certain way. Or a girl who has seen her mother as a pushover thinks it’s okay to be a doormat.
So what happens between parents, does not just impact their kids as ‘kids’, but it impacts them in their doubts and in their personal relationships as well. So to stay together for the sake of kids, maybe a very bad idea sometimes.
One of the biggest needs of children is safety and security. They feel safe in an environment they understand with both parents being there because they’ve grown up seeing that as a norm. Any change in that is going to be unsettling and is going to raise a lot of questions for the child.
So when you are planning to divorce, and when you have to break the news to the child, be extremely sensitive to that. It also depends on how old the child is, a two-year-old versus a teenager would have different sort of reactions, and the impact would be so different.
Keep in mind that you don’t need to get into too many details with children. It would be nice if, after all the difficulties in the relationship you’ve been able to come to a space where both you and your spouse can talk to each other respectfully and tell your children that it’s not working out and you’re going in for a divorce. It’s important to reassure them.
Children sometimes tend to think that they are responsible, they tend to think that they are responsible because the parents are fighting because of them. Or that they could not manage to keep their parents together and all sorts of things that children assume as their responsibilities and have a lot of guilt about it. So it’s important to reassure your kids!
Please do that when you’re talking to them, be honest with them without getting into details. Reassure them that you love them and as much as possible. Things wouldn’t change in that space