what if your child isn’t studying enough? it can be so distressing and disappointing when it seems that your child has potential and capability but they don’t study enough? they don’t work hard enough.
The first thing that I would suggest is something that you can do on your own, it is to create and maintain an overall positive environment with the child. To make them study harder,don’t be angry at them, don’t micromanage, don’t nag… don’t pressurize them, why not ? we’re gonna give you some reasons.
First,when you micromanage or nag, your child to study,“ why did you get up so late ? why didn’t you study for two hours? why are you watching television?
You’re attacking behaviors which are symptoms of the problem. Such behaviors are symptoms of their deeper interests, aptitudes, personality and core values, or lack of them you must work to change the core, not keep attacking the symptoms, and in this case, changing the core is to inspire them, and motivate them intrinsically to work hard.
the core is to develop an interest or a passion for studying, the core is to develop a meaning for studying .So focus on enhancing these. It’s not easy to do. We can help you but that’s the only way, at least the only sane one. Stop attacking the symptoms.
Second ‘ micromanaging and nagging’ doesn’t work, it is in fact counterproductive. It clearly creates a negative environment, which is not conducive to learning and growth.
Research is clear that positive emotions lead to better learning…and high levels of stress can impair learning. When you micro-manage, nag and pressurize your child constantly, you take away the positive emotions and you increase stress…how do you then, expect them to learn well ? it’s so ironic, you want them to learn, but you are destroying the conditions in which they can learn.It’s not so easy to remain positive, now is it? because it’s so frustrating, despite all your push, they’re not studying enough. The following perspectives can help you remain positive.
First, leave your attachment to marks.Focus on your child’s progress in the long run.You want a healthy, happy and functional child, so work towards that.It’s really hard to leave your attachment to marks.But you can do it if you remain conscious that marks are a very short-term goal. And if you don’t step back from it, it can blind you.
So many parents get so obsessed with marks that they forget the long term goals like … the child’s actual learning, their sleep, diet, fitness mental health, recreation, social integration… All of these are nowhere in the list of priorities. What kind of life would your child create for themselves if you ignore all of that. You must take a long-term view of life.So, if you focus on the bigger picture and let go of the attachment to marks,you won’t suddenly become disappointed or angry every time you hear your child’s score less than your expectations . You’ll remain positive, which is good for you, good for the child, and good for the relationship.
Second, many parents fear that their child simply isn’t hard-working.How will they ever become independent much less successful.As for hard work, remember that whenever your child finds practical work, something hands-on, they might automatically work really hard.
School books inherently are not good at generating motivation to work hard.So don’t judge their hard-working capacity by their current levels but you see it studies.Everyone has a capacity to work hard…At least harder than they do at school ,so let life take its own course, don’t be disappointed in your child, and don’t get angry.
Finally, just remember how difficult it is to change. Think for yourself whenever you get angry, burst at your child, some people even beat them, don’t you regret later,“ oh I was so harsh. I shouldn’t have – criticized them so bad. I won’t do it again “ but then you do do it again. If you can’t change your personality being so wise, then how do you expect your children to change so quickly? Any kind of change is hard, you need to empathize with their struggle. Growth isn’t easy. Be kind, and more accepting. Hope that gives you motivation and perspective to create a positive environment. That’s it.